


Bloom

by ninchannie



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superpowers, Best Friends, Crushes, Dreams and Nightmares, Flirting, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Non-Explicit Sex, Polyamory, Some Humor, Superpowers, Teasing, tbz call eric baby bc he's baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:34:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27785329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninchannie/pseuds/ninchannie
Summary: In a world where everyone has somewhat useful to completely useless powers, one could have the ability to feel even the slightest of temperature changes in the human body, perfectly helpful for doctors and hospitals. Or one could be flustered and just-..... yes, that's less useful. And that's what Sangyeon has to live with.
Relationships: Bae Joonyoung | Jacob/Lee Sangyeon/Moon Hyungseo | Kevin, Lee Felix/Son Youngjae | Eric
Comments: 24
Kudos: 83
Collections: Die Jungz Fest (R1)





	Bloom

**Author's Note:**

> This is my work for prompt #70 which was donated anonymously:
> 
> "Universe where everyone has slightly useful-to-totally useless super powers. Sangyeon turns invisible when he's flustered. He's been getting especially flustered every time Jacob and Kevin flirt in front of him/have PDA. Obviously (since he just...blips out of existence), they start to notice this pattern."

In Sangyeon’s twenty-fourth year of living, an eleven-year-old Armenian boy finds out that infinite parallel universes exist which the boy can skip through and look at but has no way of interacting with. It changes a lot, in science, in how culture and history is written.

It changes a lot, but it doesn’t change Sangyeon’s reality.

He lives in a world where every person has a unique power inherent to them. It’s developed in the first twelve to fifteen months after birth. There are some that are at least semi-helpful and others that are completely useless.

For some, those powers bring possibilities of work, like for Haknyeon – who knows the temperature of something by touching it and works at a hospital – and Chanhee – who’s ridiculously quick at mental maths and works at a research faculty.

For others however, they are a bit (or a lot) more useless.

Like for Sangyeon for example. There isn’t much needed - a compliment, an embarrassing story, two pretty people kissing in a movie – and his _power_ is triggered. In short: he gets the slightest bit flustered and simply-

.

.

.

Yes. That’s exactly what happens. When others blush or sheepishly look away, he just blips out of existence. Turns invisible. One second Sangyeon is there and the next he’s gone with everything he’s holding. It’s not very practical, to say the least. He can still be heard, but that doesn’t change a lot about his circumstances.

The first time he disappeared he was just over year old and playing with his mother on the living room floor. He heard the story many times (because these stories are always _bangers_ at family gatherings) and knows it just the way his mom always tells it.

_At first, I was waving his owl toy through the air and then I made it disappear behind my back. He was scared at first but whenever I’d show it to him again, he’d smile wide and giggle in the cutest way. One time instead of the owl I pulled out his pacifier and he laughed so hard I chimed right in, then suddenly his face turned pink and the next second he was gone. I could still hear him giggle, but he just turned invisible._

Oh, joy of life.

After that, it happened countless of times until Sangyeon somehow learned to live with it.

He’d be in swimming class and someone would steal his towel and instead of crying he would disappear. He’d sent the pretty girl from summer camp a love letter, only for her friends to pick on him. He was gone for three days.

It got slightly better when his puberty hit. Sangyeon grew himself a thick skin to not get flustered as easily, which wasn’t a simple task, but manageable being a somewhat introverted boy in a small friend group of equally introverted people at his school, with equally unlucky powers.

He remembers Changkyun who was blessed (aka cursed) with spider detection. In any room he went to he’d immediately know where exactly spiders were sitting. It must’ve been a horrific number at their school, by how often he was sent back home due to anxiety. Sangyeon still shudders at the memory.

There was also Youngjae who could talk to cats but was horrifically allergic to them, even the naked ones. It was so bad that if someone at school only had a cat hair on their clothes Youngjae would need to be taken to the hospital. But hey, at least some cats told him why they’re superior to humans in every way shape or form.

Sometimes Sangyeon wonders what happened to his friends from back then.

He was really not too bad off, and they weren’t either. Not enough to be on TV at least, like that guy who was born with gills and has to walk around with a tank around his head. Also not bad enough to attempt and get treatment.

For the really bad cases, where someone’s powers affect them too much to live a normal life, there are specialized doctors who can try and help. But health insurance only covers the cost for those if the case is severe, which Sangyeon’s luckily doesn’t fall under.

It’s still a nuisance. Still formed him in ways he maybe wouldn’t have wanted.

There were hard things to unlearn when he moved out for uni and met some of his best friends who he’s now living with. Things like not being stone-cold when someone is joking around. Not blocking ears and eyes during a romantic movie to not get flustered by lovey-dovey scenes.

They taught him that even if he’d get flustered and disappear, they wouldn’t make fun of him. That they will be there to comfort him. It only really got easy then. Still not perfect but better.

At least he wasn’t part of the _Twenty_. It’s a term used for those that make up twenty percent of the population. The people that lost their powers as children and either grieve them or don’t even remember them.

There’s extensive healthcare for them, given that the depression rate amongst the Twenty is nearly eighty percent higher than for everyone else. Even the ones with bad powers.

Sangyeon only knows one person of the Twenty and he looks up to him with all his heart and soul. Eric Sohn, one of his roommates and best friends.

For the first few years of his life, Eric and his family didn’t know what power he possessed, and they didn’t have the money to travel to a specialist, someone with a power that can find out about someone else’s.

Eric was five years old and alone in his room when it happened. He was staring at the small tank on his bedside table, at the little goldfish inside that he had named El Dorado. School had been tough that day and he wanted nothing more than to be able to speak to his fish, who seemed to be his only friend at the time.

He doesn’t remember it to be painful, but Eric explained to his friends once that it felt as if his lungs popped like a balloon as he transformed into a goldfish, in the middle of his room. He collapsed into a puddle of his clothes and wiggled around like a Magikarp using splash.

He nearly died there and only got saved by pure chance when his sister came into his room to play and called their parents for help. Eric’s mother threw him into the tank and for a few precious moments, he actually got to talk to El Dorado. He found out that day, that lonely fish in a tiny tank really don’t have a lot to talk about.

He got about three minutes into that realization when he suddenly transformed back, crushing the tank with his size and nearly killing his fish by squishing him. Just like before, it was Eric’s mother that saved the fish by putting El Dorado into a bowl until they bought a new tank, but the damage was done. Eric’s trauma created.

His story attracted quite a bit of traction back then and a radio station paid for a trip for him to find out about his power from an expert. The result was sobering and even more traumatic.

His power was to be able to transform into an animal. Once. For a limited time of seven minutes and thirty-six seconds. Powers are cruel companions.

Only when he became an adult, Eric was willing to go to therapy, first on his own, working up years of repressed memories and a feeling of inferiority from missing what others had so normally. Now he’s doing group therapy and is mostly fine.

Sangyeon still cuddles Eric to sleep some nights when he learns of someone else’s power that isn’t wasted, maybe even promising. It’s a stark reminder that he lost his once-in-a-lifetime chance by wanting to talk to his goldfish at five years old.

So yes, Sangyeon isn’t as bad off as Eric or anyone of the Twenty but admits that at sometimes he wishes he didn’t have his power. Like at this moment, when’s coming home from buying groceries to find Kevin and Jacob on the couch, lazily making out.

Everyone else is probably either out or studying in their rooms, so it’s not too surprising to find them there in this position, but it’s still a _lot_.

It would be enough for Sangyeon already with most couples that really show their affection for each other so openly, it just flusters him and that means _blip_. But with Jacob and Kevin there’s without a doubt a different layer to it. One that Sangyeon only noticed recently and that he keeps trying to push far, far away.

Kevin is laying on top of Jacob in between his legs and softly gasping into the kiss. Jacob’s hands are under the other’s shirt, softly stroking over his back. The door closes quietly behind Sangyeon – thank goodness – and he looks at his feet as he pulls his shoes off, hears a softly whined _Kev_ and then his feet are gone as well as his legs and the groceries in his hands.

_Of course_.

It’s probably the best timing for this to happen if he’s being honest, because invisible like this he can just sneak past the couch with deliberate steps, without the two noticing. He walks into the kitchen and places the groceries on the dining table, making them reappear.

Then he waits. Long minutes until his brain finally stops conjuring images of Jacob’s legs spread around Kevin’s hips or the other’s needy sounds. It’s a hard task, but eventually his feet reappear, his legs and hands and whole body.

He stores away the groceries careful to not make any sounds and slips out of the kitchen as quick as he can, nearly running up the stairs to get to his room. He forgets to skip the last step, the wood creaking under his footsteps but Sangyeon doesn’t even notice.

On the couch, Jacob and Kevin part at the sound, looking in the direction of the staircase breathlessly before their eyes land back on each other.

“Maybe we should go to our room.”

-

That night Sangyeon lays in bed pensively, staring up at the ceiling while thinking back on the day, on the other times he felt so… so _weird_ in Jacob and Kevin’s presence. Like his stomach is lurching back and forth and pulling him towards the two.

He’s pondering in deep thought when the vibration of his phone shakes him out of his curled-up position under the covers. Sangyeon grabs it from the bedside table and unlocks it, squinting at the brightness for a second before lowering it to something less scorching.

Eric sent a message to the group chat they all have together and with each passing second replies seem to come in.

** Haus of Boys **

[10:37pm]

Ericson:

_dinner night still stands tomorrow, right? @hak @chanheehee you two got work?_

Hak:

_got work till uhhh_

_fml this is last month’s schedule -_-_

_i get out at 8 at latest_

Chanheehee:

_free day babey_

_wait tomorrow is wednesday right_

_?_

_??_

Younghoon:

_Yes you absolute nut_

_Literally just look at your phone_

Chanheehee:

_i’m getting shamed_ ☹

Ericson:

_okay if you two could stop it for a sec that would be great_

_can i,, can i invite someone over for dinner_

Keb:

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

_Mr. Sohn_

_Spill the McFreakin Tea_

Ericson:

_there’s this guy_

_met him at the group therapy place_

_he’s not there for 20 stuff though u know_

Sangyeon:

_Is he… u know?_

Sunwoo:

_wow look at grandpa knowing memes_

_but i want to know too_

_is he your boyfieeeee_

Ericson:

_he won’t be if you fuckers keep being this way tomorrow_

_it’s… promising?_

_i like him okay_

_a lot a lot_

_please help me seem like a normal person_

Jacob:

_That’s a lot you expect of us_

_But I’m sure we will all welcome him warmly_

_What’s his name btw? Kevin and I can make cute table cards_

Ericson:

_hyuuuung it’s not a wedding_

_his name is felix_

Sunwoo:

_eric and felix_

_sitting on a tree_

Keb:

_F_

Hak:

_U_

Younghoon:

_C_

Changmin:

_K_

Sangyeon:

_I_

Jacob:

_N_

Juyeon:

_What did I miss?_

_How would you fuck on a tree wtf guys_

**Ericson left the group**

Sangyeon immediately adds him back in, but he mutes his phone and puts it to the side for good. He’s weirdly happy for Eric. Like extremely, very, giddily happy. He wonders if he should go over to his room and hug him, that’s how happy Sangyeon feels.

He turns to the side and pulls his blanket tighter around himself, hugging his owl plushie to his chest. The pillow under his face turns wet when happiness for someone else turns to wallowing over himself. Sangyeon isn’t even close to what Eric has. Even further from something like the relationship between Jacob and Kevin.

Even when silent tears eventually dry, Sangyeon can’t find comfort in sleep that night.

-

When he was eleven, Sangyeon had a nightmare in which he blipped out of existence like he so often did, only that he didn’t come back that time. Unlike in reality, no one was able to hear him in the dream either and he was left crying for help, for love, for someone to find him.

He woke up to a tear-soaked pillow and his father sitting at the edge of his bed, tracing calloused fingers through his son’s hair.

“Bad dream?” He asked Sangyeon, as if he knew. For Sangyeon’s younger self he _did_ know, about everything and anything there was. Instead of an answer he nodded, and his father didn’t ask for an explanation, for what happened to make him yell in his dreams.

As he always seemed to do, his father knew. “Want me to tell you a story?”

Nodding again, Sangyeon reached under his blanket to pull his plushie – a floppy, squished owl he had since he was born – to his chest. His father lifted the covers up and pulled them around him, tucking him in like he did many evenings when Sangyeon was younger. It had become a scarce thing the older he grew, but that just meant Sangyeon treasured this time even more in hindsight.

He didn’t know back then that it would be one of the last nights it would occur.

His father shuffled closer to his son and leaned back against the headboard, rough fingers still carding softly through his hair. With his deep, familiar voice he began talking and even though it lulled Sangyeon back into the safety of sleep, he’d remember this particular story for the rest of his life.

Sangyeon’s father had the power to be able to connect with plants. He used to call it talking to them, even though they couldn’t truly speak. With a simple touch, Sangyeon’s father was able to feel what’s wrong with a plant, or what isn’t. What might come and what happened in the past.

Before he got sick, he used to work full-time for different organizations, travelling all around the world to check infested trees, hike into forests and examine the state of the ecosystem. Most of his stories revolved around those travels, around the things the plants had to say. This one was no different.

“In the year you were born I was travelling through South America to help an organisation that was doing a study about the destruction of the rainforest. I was in Brazil during winter. You might not know, but winter there is not like the winter in Seoul. Here it’s so grey and bland, it’s the complete opposite there. I spoke to so many trees with colours I’ve never seen in nature before.”

Smiling, Sangyeon pressed his face deeper into his owl, a blanket of sleep settling over his body.

“I remember when I arrived, they were so tall but not one leaf or blossom was visible on the branches. One of those trees was in the courtyard of the house I was staying at and the first evening I went there and put my hands on it, thinking it will tell me a tale of dying. Instead it whispered, ‘ _wait for me, just you wait_ ’.”

Yawning, Sangyeon shook his head. “They don’t _whisper_ , dad,” he mumbled sleepily. “That’s just what you hear in your head.”

“Of course, smart boy,” his father chuckled and momentarily Sangyeon disappeared, flustered at the nickname. “In my head that one was whispering to me. I was very busy for a few weeks and didn’t talk more to it, but one day I woke up and looked out of my window and instead of barren branches, the most beautiful flowers looked right at me and it seemed as if they were grinning.”

He sighed, as if lost deep in his memories, before continuing. “That one had purple blossoms and over the days I had left I saw pink ones too, and bright yellows, some nearly white. All of the ones I talked to were filled with pride about themselves, and of course they would be. They’re one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.”

Sangyeon tried to imagine the flowers, colours exploding behind his closed lids that he doubted came even close to the real beauty of the trees.

“The sad thing, which I didn’t realize at the time, is that this week of colourful blossoming that I was lucky enough to bear witness too, was their only one for a whole year.” Another dreamy sigh left his throat, before quiet settled over the room. Sangyeon’s father just listened to his son’s calming breathing for another minute.

“There’s a lesson somewhere in there,” he said, doubting Sangyeon was still awake enough to listen as he drifted off into a land of dreams. “Maybe you’ll be able to learn from it more than I did.”

Sangyeon does learn from it. More than ten years later, but he does. 

-

That night, Sangyeon has the same dream he had when he was eleven, just that his body is grown up and instead of his family not being able to see him, he dreams of Jacob and Kevin, living and unfolding wholly, without Sangyeon in their lives.

He wakes up in a cold sweat, his head aching and his chest clenching uncomfortably. His pillow is wet again, and he feels wobbly on his legs when he stands up and pulls on a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie to warm himself up.

The steps of the stairs seem to move under his feet, and he feels like he’s falling on more occasions than one, but somehow he makes it to the kitchen, blindly feeling around the cupboard for a glass and filling it with water. He downs it in big gulps, his head clearing immediately.

“You good, man?” Someone asks from the side – Kevin, Sangyeon belatedly realizes – making him twirl around in surprise. Sangyeon feels slightly betrayed by the universe for this to be the first thing he sees with a clear head that morning.

Kevin is sitting at the dining table, one leg pulled onto the chair and propped against the edge of the table. He’s eating a bowl of cereal and was seemingly scrolling through his phone before Sangyeon arrived.

The worst part is that he’s looking so painfully, terribly _soft._ His hair is still fluffy from sleep, sticking up here and there in the cutest ways. To make it worse, he’s wearing a hoodie that’s a bit too big on him, blue and orange, the colours of Sangyeon’s uni because – oh _right_ – that’s Sangyeon’s hoodie.

The leg that’s propped up on the chair is completely bare, the wide shorts Kevin is wearing having been bunched up at the base of his thigh.

Sangyeon drapes his eyes over him once and he blips. Of _fucking_ course.

Kevin only seems momentarily confused before a soft blush rushes to his cheeks and he quickly puts his leg down, pulling the fabric of the shorts as far over his thighs as he can.

“Sorry, I didn’t want to scare you,” he quickly says.

Remembering the dream of the night before, Sangyeon gulps down his nerves and takes a second to reply, worried his fears might come true, that he won’t be able to be heard.

“I-it’s okay,” he says, his voice shaky. “Just didn’t expect someone to be up already.”

Nodding, Kevin pats the seat next to him. A ´relieved huff of air leaves Sangyeon when he answers.

“I had a surge of inspiration earlier and needed to draw,” he says, nearly hiding in his breakfast. “Thought why not grab some cereal. It’s so _sweet_ , I don’t know how Jacob does it.”

Sangyeon is glad he’s already invisible, because if he wasn’t already, he surely would’ve gotten flustered at Kevin’s words. _A surge of inspiration_ isn’t just what it appears to be for him. It’s a polite description for his power.

Kevin can draw extremely well. He can create the most stunning art Sangyeon has ever seen and it made him gain thousands of followers online, who adore the pieces enough to pay good money for them. That’s how Kevin _works_.

He wouldn’t describe it that way himself.

Because the downside of his power, the one his followers don’t see, is that he can’t _always_ draw well. Only when a very specific rule is met. When he told his friends about it for the first time, they all couldn’t help but giggle and he laughed with them, despite the obvious pain in his eyes.

_I can draw well_ , he explained. _But only when I’m… you know. I can only draw when I have an erection._

When the others noticed how uncomfortable it made Kevin, they never laughed about it again and they decided that describing it in other ways would be the best solution. So, _a surge of inspiration_ was created.

Usually it wouldn’t make Sangyeon flustered enough to disappear, but ever since he began realizing that there is something more behind the admiration he has for his friends, he’s been finding it hard to keep himself composed. So it’s a good thing he’s already blipped out of existence.

He slips into the seat next to Kevin, placing his glass on the table to see it immediately turn visible once it leaves his grasp.

“Did it come out good?” Sangyeon asks, in relation to Kevin’s morning activities.

Shrugging, the other pushes the bowl of cereal towards him. “Finish this for me?” He asks cutely and despite still feeling a little shaken from his dream Sangyeon takes the spoon – it turning invisible and making eating just that tad bit harder than it needs to be – and begins eating the cereal.

“I tried something new today, kind of like a collage, but I’m not sure I’ll take it anywhere,” Kevin explains, staring at the bowl that’s emptying with each invisible spoon Sangyeon eats. A bit sheepishly he turns away. “Could you maybe not tell Jacob about it? Just… please…”

Sangyeon wants to ask why, but Kevin seems almost terrified at the prospect of Jacob finding out, so the older doesn’t press. Being flustered turns to concern and with the next spoon he’s there again, spoon in hand and worry evident on his face.

Kevin startles a little at the suddenness of it before covering his earlier expression with a fake smile. “Don’t worry, it’s nothing bad, I just want this to be for me, okay? And well, now you too.”

It’s nearly enough to make Sangyeon disappear again, but he remembers his dream, remembers the way Kevin seemed almost pained. He doesn’t blip out of existence again.

“This cereal is pure sugar, I really don’t get how Jakie does it either,” he says instead, spooning up the last bits of artificially coloured, sugary breakfast. Kevin’s smile turns softer at the edges, realer, and Sangyeon feels himself relax immediately.

But then the other looks at him, truly _looks_ , like he knows all of Sangyeon’s secrets and his smile falters. “Why are you up so early?” He asks with a gentle voice.

Gulping, Sangyeon turns away, staring at the tabletop instead of at his friend. “Bad dream,” he replies, noncommittally and hopes it’s enough, hopes that Kevin _knows_.

“I don’t know what you’re going through,” Kevin says, crushing that last hope of Sangyeon, but his voice gets even softer. “But you’ve been getting them more often, right?” He doesn’t wait for Sangyeon to nod. “You know Jacob and I are always here for you, and if you feel weird having both of us, I’ll kick him out and you can sleep with me for a few days, okay? Just please don’t close up on us again. On any of us. We love you.”

Sangyeon doesn’t know what part of it does it, the ambiguous nature of Kevin’s word being so easily interpreted in a way different context, the pure earnest emotion in his voice, or the three words at the end. Something of it just _does_ it and Sangyeon disappears again.

Kevin grins and grabs the empty bowl, standing up slowly with a yawn. “I’ll take that as a yes,” he says while he walks away and Sangyeon nearly falls off of the chair.

-

They all cook together that afternoon, well everyone except for Haknyeon, who’s stuck at work, and Eric, who’s sat on the couch being babied out of his panic for the dinner _date_ which he swears shouldn’t even be considered a date since everyone else is there too but _oh_ _fuck_ , it really feels like a date.

Sangyeon is glad that Kevin and Changmin took it on to cheer him up, the sole thought of dating and possible relationships making him feel sadder than he feels these topics should. It makes him a bad friend, is what his brain tells him, and Sangyeon has to actively fight against the intrusive thoughts by putting his all into cutting these fucking onions into the most perfect cubes he’s ever seen.

When they all _cook together_ it’s probably a bit of a stretch because really the only one actually cooking is Jacob, and the others just support him by cutting things up or cleaning the kitchen. It’s really strange that _he_ is the best cook among them, given his power.

Jacob technically doesn’t have to eat any of the food he’s making, because he could gain all the nutrition he needs by eating cereal. It doesn’t really matter which one, they all kind of work the same, and despite being sugary hell, his power makes it so that he doesn’t even get caries. Hell, eating veggies would probably be less healthy for him than a whole box of Lucky Charms. 

So, really him having learned to cook was solely because he _wanted_ to when he was younger, and maybe that’s why it is so good. It’s passion more than necessity and they all envy him more times than they’d like to admit. Sometimes having to put in effort to get a good meal just isn’t worth it, even if their bodies are screaming for it.

Sighing, Sangyeon ignores the small stab of envy at having gotten _blessed_ with his power when even something as useless as Jacob’s would be better. He puts the knife in his hand down momentarily and wipes his eyes with the back of his hands.

“Why am I cutting the onions again?” Sangyeon asks, a pitiful tear running down his face.

“Well, you know _I_ can’t very well do it, or I’d get too ripped for my own good,” Jaehyun says from the other side of the kitchen where he’s washing up some dishes.

Ah yes, Jaehyun and his useless power of gaining muscle while crying. Not just cry muscles, but _everywhere_. It’s a good thing he’s not an emotional person or else he’d be scarily buff. His doctor actually told him he shouldn’t cry at all and get his muscles the usual way, just for the sake of his own body.

The rest of the kitchen stays eerily quiet and even though he’s the only one being productive – Sangyeon thinks he’s marinating something – Jacob is the one to come over with a paper towel and gently wipe the tear off of his cheek.

It would be okay – or so Sangyeon tells himself – if Jacob wouldn’t be this fucking _close_ to him, breath fanning over his skin and eyes so close, lashes so pretty, how is he supposed to-

Oh no. How _is_ he supposed to stay composed when the two friends he’s so unfortunately crushing on keep _testing_ him like this. He looks down and gone are his hands, gone the knife and the part of the onion he was holding. With a sigh, he drops both to the cutting board to make them reappear.

Someone snickers from the dining table – Chanhee the little devil – but thankfully Jacob doesn’t seem to be particularly amused. At least there’s no grin on his face, rather something unsettlingly intense in his eyes that makes Sangyeon look away with a rapidly beating heart, despite the other not being able to see him.

It’s Younghoon who interrupts the tense moment. “Ah come on, you’re doing that on purpose don’t you? So you don’t have to help out.” Despite the annoyance in his voice he stands up from where he was sitting at the dining table, playing with a napkin he was supposed to fold, and pushes an invisible Sangyeon out of the way to cut the onion in his place.

Sighing, Sangyeon washes his hands under some invisibility-induced difficulty and even though he knows it’s impossible, it feels like Jacob’s eyes never quite leave him.

-

They set up dinner for nine in the evening, enough time for Haknyeon to get home from work and shower together with Sunwoo. They don’t do it out of necessity – having two bathrooms in the house – or because they have a _thing_ going on.

They do it because Haknyeon has his history with breaking down in the shower, either out of fatigue after another sixteen-hour shift, or because of his own frail mental health.

He never wanted to become a nurse, a doctor in the making is how his superiors call it. He wanted to pursue acting ever since he was little, but once Haknyeon found out about his power and it got reposted on some social media group he received dozens of offers for positions and scholarships at a number of famous hospitals, under the wing of some of the best doctors in the world.

It would’ve been a dream of many – he understood that much early on when he got mobbed online for not appreciating his power enough – and got encouraged by his family. A doctor, isn’t that just the dream son to have.

So, pressured from outside forces, he accepted one of the scholarships and began training at sixteen, now able to use his power of knowing the temperature of something by touching it in the medical field.

Still, being paid best out of his whole friend group and having _safety_ in what he does, does little to fight depression. It’s not the life Haknyeon wanted and despite his friends trying to tell him that it would be okay to take acting lessons and pursue that dream of his, Haknyeon never allows himself to actually believe in that.

The first time he broke down in the shower he was in there for two hours, his skin peeling and teeth clattering from the water having turned cold. He took a guilty day off of work after and together with his friends decided to care better for himself.

But it happened a second time and a third and at some point Sunwoo couldn’t keep watching. Without asking he walked into the bathroom right after Haknyeon and despite the crossing of obvious boundaries they began showering together.

So it’s an obvious thing to plan around. An easy thing for friends this close.

The other hope they had by putting dinner this late, was for Felix to come early, so they’d have time to talk beforehand, maybe play a few rounds of Mario Kart before dining. It probably would’ve soothed Eric somewhat too, who’s now biting his lip bloody at 9:10 pm, staring at his phone screen.

“He’s not coming, is he?” He says after five more painful minutes of Changmin trying to lighten the mood by talking about his molecular biology course at uni.

Jacob leans over the youngest and softly plucks his bruised bottom lip from between his teeth. It makes Sangyeon’s heart clench uncomfortably because he wants that attention too. It’s immediately followed by guilt, because Eric is sad and deserves treatment like that – soft and tender – much more than he does.

“What did he text you, baby?” Jacob asks in that typical gentle Jacob way that just soothes everyone, no matter how distressed. Then he leans his head against Eric’s shoulder to look at his phone with him and Sangyeon nearly lurches over the table to hold them both.

What’s worse though, is when Kevin drapes himself over Jacob to take a look too, a hand on his thigh half hidden under the table and his dumb pretty mouth pressing kisses over Jacob’s shirt. Sangyeon looks at his empty plate instead, imagines food and naked grandmas and zombies and what you’re supposed to think about when you’re trying not to blip out of existence.

“He said at eight that something might have come up, but he’d get back to me in the next half hour… that’s nearly an hour ago now, right? He really stood me up, huh?”

Haknyeon fondly rolls his eyes at Eric from his other side and runs a soothing hand over his upper back. He looks tired, but less dead inside than when he came home. “Baby, you put this away now and stuff those cute cheeks of yours with food, okay?”

On cue, Chanhee takes the phone from Eric’s hopeless grasp as Younghoon speaks up. “And later we can have ice-cream and watch a movie, yeah?”

It looks like there are tears in Eric’s eyes, but since there’s a strict no-cry rule in Jaehyun’s presence he swallows them down like a champ and puts on a slightly less miserable expression. “Can we watch Pokémon?” He asks, a hint of excitement in his voice.

Food seems to only lessen his worries even more and it becomes a long, delicious evening filled with chatter and jokes and surprisingly intense stares from Jacob and Kevin over the table, directed right at Sangyeon.

_Wait what?_

The oldest notices it first when gobbling down his third bowl of Jacob’s incredible stir-fry and nearly chokes on his bite. They’re both just openly staring right at him, taking bites themselves but most of all just _looking_.

Some of the others – okay, only Changmin and Chanhee – look between the three with a smirk that should tell Sangyeon there’s something going on he’s not quite a part of. But over his panicked desperate try at keeping composed he completely misses it. Changmin takes a sip of his soda with a grin and his power turns the light purple. That’s enough distraction Sangyeon needs.

Unfortunately for him, it only gets worse once they’re all cuddled up in front of the TV – Eric with a big tub of ice-cream that Younghoon feeds him delicately – to watch _Mewtwo Strikes Back_. Sangyeon somehow ends up squished between the right arm of the couch and Kevin and Jacob, yes, _both_ of them, because they’re basically lying on top of each other.

Not only that, but Kevin’s hand just keeps dipping under the hem of Jacob’s shirt, revealing tan skin and a slip of hipbone and Sangyeon feels like some kind of anime pervert that’s about to nosebleed up to the roof.

He keeps himself together by absolutely concentrating on the movie like his life depends on it, which it kind of does, but that only works so well when Kevin dips his head into Jacob’s neck and whispers something in his ear that sounds suspiciously like _ruin you_ and _make you lose your mind_. Yes, Sangyeon is absolutely losing his mind, thank you very much.

As saving grace comes _that_ scene of the movie. The one where no matter what age, everyone just breaks down and cries. Eric cries into his ice-cream, Jacob into Kevin’s shirt and Jaehyun into his steadily growing forearm muscles.

Sangyeon just lets his eyes water until they’re spilling over and tries to not feel like an idiot. But then soft fingers collect some of the wetness running down his face and when Sangyeon makes the mistake of looking over, he finds Kevin with puffy eyes and a pink nose, lips parted in concentration as he cleans Sangyeon’s face and he’s _gone_. Literally gone.

It’s a bit comical how all eyes turn to him and tears turn to giggles and laughter. To a teasing comment from Chanhee and slap on the knee from Juyeon accompanied by an eyebrow wiggle that shouldn’t be that handsome.

“Watch the movie,” Sangyeon just says defeatedly and tries to shrink in on himself as much as he can. No matter how hard he pushes himself into the cushion of the couch, Jacob and Kevin stay pressed to his side.

The movie ends with Sangyeon turning visible again once the credits roll and everyone stands up to stretch and shake some tension out of their muscles from being squished together for the duration of the movie.

Bidding each other farewell for the night, the group dissolves to go to bed, or study, or play games in everyone’s respective rooms. Sangyeon, Kevin and Jacob stay behind to clean up what’s been left of dinner in a silence that isn’t really awkward, but in no world pleasant either.

Sangyeon is just wiping down the dining table, when Jacob speaks up with a cough. “So, _uh_ , no pressure to answer this, but you’ve been blipping a lot recently… any particular reason for that?”

The older drops the sponge with a sickening, wet squelch. “W-what?” He asks and his voice goes _high_.

Kevin jumps in a bit awkwardly, leaning against the fridge faking nonchalance. “Like, you know, earlier. Or like… this morning, you know? Also yesterday when _uhmm_ Jacob and I were on the couch. We didn’t see you of course, but food doesn’t normally just appear in our fridge and also, you know, the stairs don’t usually creak on their own.”

Sangyeon tries to steady his breathing, to concentrate on how his fingers are trembling in mid-air. _Don’t disappear now, you’ll blow it. They’ll know what’s up. They’ll never want to be close to you again. They won’t even want to be_ -

“Hey, it’s okay,” Jacob interrupts Sangyeon’s spiralling mind. “We’re not judging you. We know this is a very emotional topic, but we were wondering if we could make it any easier.”

Kevin hums and steps away from the fridge, coming a few steps closer. “We don’t want to misinterpret any signs here, but we’ve been wondering you maybe… if there’s something happening between-“

“Sangyeon, you here?” Eric’s voice comes softly, stopping Kevin in the middle of his sentence and Sangyeon on the brink of vanishing. He peaks his head around the corner, soft hair and puffy eyes and it does worlds to distract the eldest.

“Yes baby, what’s up?” He says, picking up the sponge and wiping down the rest of the table before dumping it into the sink. He washes his hands there too and dries them off before going over to the youngest.

“I was wondering if maybe we could… If I could maybe sleep in your bed tonight? I don’t want to be alone…” Eric says shyly, eyes on the floor and Sangyeon softens even more.

“You… with me?” He asks, sounding a bit baffled. It’s been a while since Eric asked so straightforwardly. “Not Sunwoo?”

Eric blushes at that and giggles in that _boy_ way. “He’s spending the night with Haknyeon… free day tomorrow so they want to celebrate.” It makes all of them pull a face at the same time, not too keen on knowing about their friends’ absolutely platonic, no-strings attached at all arrangement.

Sangyeon nearly forgets about his own worries and smiles, until he looks over at Kevin. He remembers his offer from that same morning, about Sangyeon being invited to sleep with him and Jacob until he’ll feel better.

Kevin looks weirdly… disappointed? Hurt? No, that can’t be.

Turning back towards Eric, Sangyeon wraps an arm around him and hopes his smile comes off as genuine. “Of course, baby, just grab your pillows and blanket and make yourself at home.”

Eric completely lights up and jumps up and down excitedly. “You’re the best,” he says with a grin, before skipping up the stairs, not even telling the others goodnight.

“Wow, he’s turning into a brat,” Jacob says jokingly, but his voice is weirdly reserved.

Sangyeon turns to his friends and clears his throat, wondering why they both look like they’ve just seen a ghost once his eyes land on them.

“So, goodnight?” He says awkwardly, but it comes out more like a question.

It seems to shake them out of whatever mood they were stuck in and their faces go back to normal. There’s still something in their features Sangyeon just can’t quite get behind but he shakes away any and all thoughts about it.

He probably made them uncomfortable with all his blipping. That must’ve been what Kevin wanted to tell him before Eric barged in. Right?

Kevin looks at Jacob with raised brows but the other shakes his head. With a sigh Kevin turns back towards the older, but he doesn’t look him in the eyes. “Sleep tight, Sangyeon.”

-

Eric likes sleeping next to Sangyeon. Unlike Sunwoo, the older doesn’t steal his blanket and he doesn’t punch or kick him in his sleep. Also, he’s a great cuddler. What Eric doesn’t like so much, is waking up at noon with a droning headache and no Sangyeon by his side.

It makes sense, because the other probably has uni, but it still feels lonely and he would’ve loved to hear a _good morning, baby_ as the first thing of the day. He would never tell anyone that.

He nearly forgot about what happened the evening before, or rather what _didn’t_ happen, until Eric grabs his phone from the nightstand, plucks Sangyeon’s charger in and checks his messages. There are some from his mom, some in the group chat, but he ignores them all for the 13 messages from Felix.

** Felix ** 😽😽

[4:15 am]

_Eric I’m so sorry_

_I hope you’re asleep_

_It’s okay if you will never answer me I totally understand_

[4:18 am]

_Things came up I couldn’t stop it I just couldn’t I wish I could’ve but I couldn’t_

_I really really like you Eric I don’t want to give that up_

[4:27 am]

_There’s a new movie coming out tomorrow_

_It’s a thriller and I know you like those so please let me take you out_

_I just got online tickets for the showing at 8 but I can cancel those if you can’t or don’t want to_

[4: 44 am]

_Asjhfd guhusiu uhghgd klsdemkvf sdjkj_

[5: 13 am]

_Uhhh my phone fell down?_

_You don’t have to answer me if you don’t want to but I know you probably will bc you’re so nice_

_I hope you are sleeping well_

_I’m sorry_

Eric has to read over the messages a few times. It still hurts that Felix stood him up, but it hurts more that he seemed to have felt just as bad, even into the early hours of the morning. With anyone else Eric might be wary about the jumble of apologetic messages, but he knows Felix enough to realize that he’s not like anybody else.

He’s been true and earnest from the first time they’ve met in the waiting area at the therapy place. They’ve talked for twenty minutes there and not once did the question of powers come up, which usually comes as quickly as name and age in their society.

They exchanged numbers and met up a few times after that, and never did Eric feel pressured to tell Felix about his own experience with the powers. Neither did he force the other to speak.

They just talked for hours with no end in sight and it felt good. So good. Felix was a sunshine Eric didn’t know he was missing from his life and apparently it wasn’t a whole lot different the other way around.

It went gradually from there, a blush under soft freckles, shining eyes and shaking hands that Eric had to hide under sweater paws. He wanted to ask Felix out and one day he just blatantly did. Felix told him off.

“You can’t just do that, I need to get my head into it first,” he had said and rubbed at his temples for a solid thirty seconds before looking back at Eric. “Okay, now go.”

“Uhh, do you maybe want to accompany to my friend group’s dinner sometime?” He swore he saw Felix’ face fall at the mention of dinner but it got quickly covered up by eye smiles and shy giggles.

And that’s how he got here, attacked by a plethora of messages and even more feelings.

** Felix ** 😽😽

[12:37 pm]

_felix it’s okay_

_actually it’s kind of not but i’m on my way there, okay?_

_we will be fine_

_can we mayeb call when you’re awake?_

_maybe***_

_i know you don’t like calling and you don’t have to but i’d liek to hear your voice_

_like**********_

_my hands are shaking arghh i can type i promise_

Eric gets a call not even thirty seconds later and he accepts it without even looking at the caller. His phone nearly falls on his face, but he manages to catch it at the last second.

“Hey,” he says and even his voice is quivering.

He can hear Felix take a deep breath on the other end of the line. “ _Hi_.”

It feels a bit idiotic, but Eric immediately smiles. “You should probably sleep, you sent me those messages pretty late. Or like… early.” He laughs right after, trying to go to normal, default fun communication. But it doesn’t always work like that.

There’s a heavy silence for a few seconds before Felix speaks up. “ _I sleep enough, believe me I sleep more than enough_ ,” he says cryptically and there’s some pain in his deep voice. “ _I’m really sorry, Eric. I should’ve given you an explanation, I shouldn’t have just disappeared like that_.”

“It’s okay, Lix,” Eric answers quickly, because it really is. There’s no grudge left in his chest, not now that he’s actually hearing Felix talk to him. “You can explain later if you want to, or whenever you’re ready.”

“ _So does that mean you want to go on that movie date with me_?” Felix asks, even though he knows the answer.

“I’ll even invite you on popcorn,” Eric says, sounding maybe a tiny bit too excited. “I just really want to see you.”

“ _I want to see you too, Eric_.” Felix is interrupted by a yawn then. “ _But you’re maybe even right that I should sleep just a tiny bit more_.”

Eric hides his face in his arm and presses himself further into the soft bed. He’s smiling so wide it’s beginning to hurt. “Sleep tight, Lixie.”

“ _W-wait, Eric_?” Felix asks before Eric can end the call, sounding close to frantic. “ _Could you stay with me until I’m asleep? You don’t even have to talk, just stay with me please_.”

There’s endless pain in Felix’ voice and Eric’s smile falters as his throat closes up. “Of course. I’ll stay with you.”

He does until he can hear faint snoring on the other line, finally collecting his pillow and blanket to go back to his own room. The whole day he feels a weird mixture of excited and worried, like there’s something obvious that he’s missing, that could take Felix’ pain away.

It’s seven when Eric begins to _panic_ instead. He has to get going soon, but there’s just so many nice things to wear, and so little of them in his closet that make a good outfit. His rummaging must be loud enough to alert some of his roommates because only a few minutes later, Kevin and Chanhee peek their heads inside of his room.

He announced his rescheduled date in the group chat, getting mostly positive responses but some of Younghoon and Jaehyun getting ready to fight if Felix were to pull something again. Their words, not Eric’s.

Kevin and Chanhee thankfully seem to be very supportive of Eric’s evening plans and help him pick the perfect pieces for his outfit while bombarding him with questions about what kind of person Felix is, if he’s tall, what he looks like, what his power is.

When Eric tells them that they purposefully strayed from the topic of powers, they look at him like he just switched into perfect German. It takes a bit of effort – probably more than it _should_ – for Eric to explain to them that for once not having to explain what happened to his power, or possibly be jealous of the other’s, has been one of the greatest bonding experiences he could’ve had.

It makes Kevin wonder if the way nearly everyone is going about meeting someone new, basically introducing yourself with your power as much as your name, is the best way to do it. It certainly would’ve spared him some embarrassment if he wouldn’t have to come forth about it. Bitterness settles over him that he tries to push far, far away by helping Chanhee pick out Eric’s shoes.

“So he’s smaller than you?” He double checks as he picks up a pair of black platforms.

Eric smiles, giddily puffing his chest out at his reflection in the mirror. “Just a few centimetres.”

That’s how Kevin decides against the platform shoes and instead just gives Eric some sporty ones instead, telling him how comfort always wins over fashion, especially on a date you’re already nervous for.

Eric swears he isn’t nervous, but when he’s stood in front of the cinema five minutes before eight and there’s no Felix in sight, he can’t quite deny the stinging flutter of his heart and the pressure on his chest.

Maybe Felix’ bus is late or something… but wouldn’t he just text Eric then?

Checking his phone for the twentieth time, Eric huffs when there’s still no new message. It gets him a strange look from the security guy stood in front of the doors, who quickly averts his eyes when Eric stares right back at him.

The movie probably started already, when around 8:15 Felix still hasn’t sent him a message, and there’s no sign of him showing up either. Eric feels crushed having been stood up twice in the span of two days, but his legs stay glued in place, a desperate voice in his head chanting _he will come, he will come, he will come_ -

“They won’t come, man,” a pitiful voice says from the side and when Eric looks back, the security guy is standing a few steps closer to him.

Eric nods at the giant man, trying to set up a polite smile. “Yeah, maybe something came up…”

He heads home, walking into the same direction he came from and tries not to stare at the movie advertisements all around the building that seem to make fun of him. He stops in front of a poster of the movie he wanted to watch with Felix. It looks kind of trashy if he’s being honest. So maybe it’s better this way.

Okay, who is he kidding, Eric would have _loved_ that movie. Probably for the trashiness alone.

A small sound pulls his attention away from the poster, a high squeak of sorts and Eric looks around confusedly to find the source. It repeats after a few seconds, scratchy and heart-wrenching and Eric finds the source of it peeking out from behind the post of a streetlight.

A tiny spotted cat looks up at him from there, too shy to approach but obviously screeching at him. Meowing really wouldn’t be the right term for the high-pitched sounds. It’s a small cat, tiny enough to make Eric thinks I could barely be much older than a few months. He isn’t an expert on cats however, so he can’t say for sure.

Carefully, Eric lowers himself down and gets closer with a hand held out in front of him.

“Hello sweet baby,” he says in a high voice that is exclusively reserved for cute animals. “What are you doing here, little one?”

The cat slowly comes out from behind the metal post, ears perked up in curiosity and its tail swishing from side to side. The closer it gets, Eric can see the way different shades of brown spots are strewn over its coat, like a painter decided to wildly flick a brush against a canvas.

Its left front paw is a deep brown, making it look like it’s wearing a little boot. Eric’s heart goes soft.

There’s no collar on it to find out where it came from, but when it curiously sniffs Eric’s finger, he’s sure it must be used to being around people. Overall, it looks too healthy to be a feral cat and Eric wonders who would let their cat out in a city centre like this.

It only seems to take one sniff too, for the cat to gain trust in him, because suddenly it lurches forward and climbs in between Eric’s legs, pressing itself against him.

“O-oh,” he gasps in surprise, before helping it up into a more comfortable position. “You must’ve been alone for a while… I guess I have time now, so I can stay a little.”

He holds the cat tightly to his chest to hop backwards, leaning against the wall of the cinema building to not block the sidewalk. The street is dusty and grimy, but Eric doesn’t really care as he sits down and begins to carefully pet the kitten that seems to fully trust him already.

Eric sits there for a long time, the kitty looking up at him for the whole duration, even when it begins to purr contently at some point. Never before did he see a cat do that, but it’s calming to not be alone and to not be in his room for a bit. Even with his best friends right outside it often feels like a prison for his thoughts to tumble over another.

But even with a vibrating heater in his arms, Eric gets cold before soon, so with a heavy heart he strokes the cat’s head one more time before carefully setting it down. It seems to be disoriented for a few seconds, turning around itself as Eric stands up and dusts his clothes off.

“Sorry little one, I have to go now. Get home safely,” he says to it with a wave – yes, Eric waves at a cat, what about it – before turning to walk down the street and towards home. He’s glad that the movie theatre is close to there and that he doesn’t have to sit through public transport with the deep ache painfully settling in his chest.

He doesn’t get far before he can hear tapping against concrete and the cat sprints past him, turning around and stopping in the middle of the path as if it wants to stop him from going further. It looks up at him with glimmering eyes that remind Eric of the scene in Shrek, where the puss in boots does _those_ eyes for the first time.

It proves to be effective, because Eric bends down again to pet it some more. “You don’t want to be alone either, hm? But you must live around here, and I can’t just take you with me, I’m sorry.”

The cat’s ears lower and it almost seems to be shaking its head. Eric apologizes again – yes, to a cat, leave him be – before moving on, just that this time there’s a constant shadow by his side. It has to run a little, to keep up, but it follows Eric not only down the street, but even when he turns corners and crosses streets.

It’s _weird_ , because since when do cats so willingly follow humans? Is Eric missing something? Maybe the cat can see ghosts and one is haunting him… maybe that would explain his recent dating luck too. But then wouldn’t the cat be less relaxed?

Eric is just at the edge of the park he has to walk through to get home, when the cat stops to gently swat his leg. It points its head to the right and when Eric follows the movement, his eyes land on a lady who’s walking her golden retriever.

“Oh, you’re scared to go further?” He asks and the cat… nods? Strange. “You know what… this is so weird… and I’m probably a bit stupid… but you know what? Who the fuck cares.”

The cat stands up on its hind legs to make it easier for Eric to pick it up – again, weird, but it’s just a _cat_ – and he does, wrapping his jacket around it to hopefully hide it from any dogs out on an evening walk. Supporting it with one hand, Eric pulls his phone from his back pocket and sends a message to the group chat.

** Haus of Boys **

[8:49 pm]

Ericson:

_he stood me up_

_can someone pls run to the store and get some cat food and maybe some treats_

Juyeon:

_eric what the fuck_

Sangyeon:

_What did you do?_ 🤨

Despite seventeen more confused messages being added to the mix on his way home, Eric comes back to about five years worth of cat food and treats and three different little beds that he wonders where they even got those from at nine in the evening. One is shaped like a banana and Sunwoo (the traitor) already called dibs on it without even giving Eric a chance to compete.

Thankfully, despite the obvious excitement about a furry friend, everyone lays low when Eric enters the living room with the tiny cat tucked under his jacket. They watch from afar as it peaks its head out before burying it deep in Eric’s chest again.

“I think it’s overwhelmed,” Kevin says softly, to not startle the animal even more. “Maybe you should keep it in your room for tonight and tomorrow we can go to a vet and see if it’s chipped.”

Eric thanks him and carefully goes up the stairs to his room, followed by Kevin with a cat bed (a fluffy brown one) and two bowls for food and water. In his room, Eric softly puts the cat down on his bed before shuffling his jacket off and draping it around the frightened animal.

Kevin fills one of the bowls with wet food and the other with water quietly, but he doesn’t leave when he’s done. Instead, he sits at the edge of the bed and slowly brings his hand closer to the tiny cat, to let it sniff him.

“You want to talk, baby?” He asks Eric when the cat seems to have calmed down a little and allows Kevin to scratch behind its ear. Eric is leaning against his desk, eyeing the scene with a heavy heart.

“I just want to know why,” he sighs and tries to blink away the wetness in his eyes. “Why he can’t just tell me that he’s not interested.”

Something about Kevin’s pets must’ve startled the cat because with a sudden lurk it retreats down the length of the bed and jumps off of the edge to quickly scurry under it. Both Eric and Kevin peek underneath but it’s too dark to see, and they decide to give the poor animal some space.

Collecting the empty cat food can and water bottle, Kevin stops right before he leaves the room. “I trust you, Eric. You told us so many great things about him and I think this doesn’t have to be the end of it. Try and talk it out with him, okay baby? Trust yourself.”

Eric’s throat tightens up. “Thank you, Keb. Tell the others goodnight from me, yeah?”

“Of course.” Kevin leaves Eric like that, in the solitude of his room that isn’t as lonely as usually. Because even if not visible, there’s another presence in there, hiding underneath the bed.

With a sigh, Eric grabs his phone and shuts it off for the night. Even if Felix will write him first, call him, facetime him, whatever. There will be time for that tomorrow. When Eric feels less like he’s going to cry any second and he hopefully sees some future where Felix won’t drop him again.

He doesn’t shower that night, even though he probably should. Instead he puts on a big hoodie he stole from Jaehyun’s closet and fluffy sleeping pants before sitting on the floor in front of the bed and gently coaxing the cat out with soft words and a rattling box of treats.

When it finally does, it mews at him creakily again before eating the treat right out of his hand. Then it kicks the container over and crunches up about a dozen more treats in the speed of a high-end vacuum.

It makes Eric giggle, but he saves as much as he can because cat treats can’t be _that_ healthy for cats, right? And it should probably eat the wet food the others got. But when Eric shows the cat the bowl, it gives it a miniscule sniff before burying it under non-existent dirt. Oh well, maybe the treats were enough for now.

After that, Eric finds that the cat likes to look out of the window. It’s a cloudy night, no stars visible and yet it watches for a long time. Eric tries to keep track, but as he lays in bed, he finds his eyes droop closed and before he knows it, he’s fallen deep into sleep. Sneakily, the cat jumps on the bed and curls up in front of Eric’s chest, like an absolutely tiny small spoon. Despite the unfortunate happenings of the evening, it’s a good sleep for Eric.

It’s a good sleep, until at around 2am, when suddenly the mattress dips down next to Eric. The moonlight shines starkly through the window, even noticeable through closed lids. There’s a sudden hand on Eric’s arm and he startles, but takes his time rubbing his eyes before looking.

“Sunwoo, you can’t just come in here at night unannounced,” he says with a groggy voice. “You’ll give me a heart attack one day, I swear to g-“

“ _Uhh_ , I’m not Sunwoo,” a deep voice replies, and Eric nearly punches himself in the eye from yelping in shock. He knows that voice. He knows it so well.

And yet, it’s a shock to see Felix laying right beside him in bed, haloed by the pale moonlight.

“I- you- what the fuck, I-“ Eric scrambles for words, fumbling to the side to hit the light switch in case his sleepy brain is just making things up. He’s more prepared than the other, but still it takes a few seconds for his eyes to focus on the other who’s squinting cutely at the sudden brightness, a hand in front of his eyes.

Felix’ hair is mussed up and he’s wearing a jean jacket that is hanging off of his shoulder. He looks like he just took a long comfortable nap… in Eric’s bed. _Yeah, what the fuck?_

“What the fuck?” Eric repeats his thoughts and Felix looks to the side shyly.

“I have some explaining to do,” he begins in his deliciously deep voice. “I should’ve done it a lot earlier, but powers never came up and I… I liked that. A lot.”

Eric’s tired brain takes a few seconds to take it all in before he nods. “I-I liked that too, but what has your power to do with how you got in here?”

Wrapping his arms around himself, Felix seems to shake a little, his teeth clattering as if he’s very cold. “Y-you remember, _uhh_ , the cat you picked up at the cinema?”

“Oh my gosh,” Eric startles, looking around in panic to see where it is. “Is it yours? Wait was that why you missed the movie? I swear the cat was here, it must be here _somewhere_ -“

“Eric,” Felix interrupts him with trembling lips. “I’m right in front of you.”

Turning back slowly, Eric looks Felix up and down a few times, brows furrowing in thought. Felix is right in front of him, yes, but what does that have to do with-

_Oh_.

“You’re the cat?” He asks in shock. “Your power is to transform into a cat?”

Felix rubs his palms together to warm them up. “It’s not quite that easy… I can’t control it, you know? It just… it happens,” he says, eyes looking directly at Eric’s, trapping him and how could he not have noticed. Felix has a striking resemblance with the cat, as weird as that might sound.

“Is that why you didn’t come to the dinner?” Eric asks, reaching a hand out to take one of Felix’. He’s ice-cold to the touch.

The other nods. “I only become a cat during cloudy nights,” he looks over his shoulder and out of the window then. “It cleared up now, but earlier… yeah, you know…”

Eric gently puts his other hand on Felix’ cheek, his skin so cold here too. “You’re so cold,” he whispers, instead of what he actually wants to say. Instead of comforting Felix, like he wants to.

A shy smile forms on the boy’s lips. “I’m always cold when I come back,” he explains. “Cats run very hot and my human body can’t quite keep up with the sudden change.”

Without thinking, Eric pulls Jaehyun’s hoodie over his head and gives it to Felix, before climbing out of the bed to grab himself a shirt and get another pair of fluffy pants for the other. He doesn’t look as Felix changes, only when he says it’s okay.

It makes Eric’s heart stutter a little. Felix is basically drowning in the clothes and yet he’s still shaking like a leaf as he sits on the edge of the bed. Eric pulls his covers up and gets in underneath, holding them up to pat his side.

“Come here,” he says. “You can warm up on me.”

Felix looks close to tears when he shuffles closer and settles in right by Eric’s side, his head on his chest and a soft hand over his middle. “Thank you,” he whispers. “No one has ever done this for me.”

Eric furrows his brows and pulls the blanket up tight around them. “No one?” He asks confused.

Nodding, Felix takes a second to answer, breathing in deeply and melting even closer against Eric. Their legs tangle together, hot against cold, and Eric pulls Felix even closer.

“That’s why I go to therapy,” he explains. “I never had anyone care for me when I transformed. As a child my parents never understood when it would happen. They didn’t care to check on me, to feed me or be there. It might sound silly, but-“

“Felix,” Eric interrupts. “That’s not silly, why are you saying that?”

Nuzzling deeper against the other’s chest, Felix shakes his head lightly. “I never told anyone before. About my power, about my giant fear of abandonment. Imagine how vulnerable it makes me. When I’m a cat, I can’t talk, I can’t gesture like a human. It’s so scary. It’s terrifying.”

Eric feels his throat tighten up. “I’m here, Lix,” he whispers. “You don’t have to worry about that with me. If you want me to, I’ll be there for you however you need me.”

Felix smiles, Eric can feel it through his shirt. “I know, Eric,” he looks up then, all puffy eyes from sleep and red cheeks from being cold. “And I think I want that. I think I want that a lot.”

“That’s good,” Eric says, smiling, before gently threading a hand through Felix’ hair. “I hope it was okay that I lured you out with treats earlier.”

With his blush deepening, Felix nods. “I liked them a lot, but that wet food… I don’t want to be ungrateful, but that one isn’t my favourite.”

“You’re not being ungrateful, Lix,” Eric assures. “Thank you for being honest with me. I’ll make sure that we donate those ones and get some that you like.”

“Y-you’d do that for me?” Felix’ voice is completely shocked, eyes wide as he looks at Eric.

“Of course, I can assure you we all would. I know you haven’t met my friends, but we’re all very… we all have intense relationships with our powers. But we never judge. It’s like a safe haven here and I think it could be for you too, if you ever need that.”

Felix nods again, pushing his hair out of his face. “I’d like to meet them all,” he says. “The one who was here earlier, I really like him. I think I’ll get along with him well.”

“Kevin is great. And I’ll introduce you to my chaotic bunch in the morning if you want that… Well it would be quite hard to sneak you past them if I’m being honest…”

Felix chuckles. “So I can stay the night?”

The words make Eric blush in turn. “I-if you want that, of course.”

“I do,” Felix says decidedly. “I also kind of really want to kiss you… can I?”

Eric doesn’t answer and instead pulls Felix forward gently, until he can feel the other’s breath fan over his face. He closes his eyes before moving in fully and gently pressing his lips to Felix’. He’s still cold, but his lips are trembling for a different reason now. Eric quite likes it.

He makes sure to warm Felix up after that, by holding him close and rubbing his sides. By tucking him in tightly and kissing his cheeks, the tip of his nose, his lips until they’re pink and anything but cold.

-

Sangyeon checks in on Eric the next morning, by lightly knocking on his door and opening it. Instead of what he expects to find – a puffy Eric cuddled up to a kitty – he finds a puffy Eric, cuddled up to an equally puffy boy.

After the initial shock, they got a lot of things to explain and decide to do so over breakfast, with everyone else around. Felix is incredibly shy at first but growing more and more comfortable the more he gets to know everyone.

It’s a bit crazy how easily he has everyone whipped, ready to protect him at all costs.

After he leaves, Eric tells everyone just how much Felix appreciates the support. He doesn’t tell them much else, but it’s enough for Sangyeon to know that Felix must be just as hurt as they all are, maybe even more so. He knows they’ll invite him with open arms if he ever needs it.

Everyone kind of drizzles out to do their own things when noon comes around, be that university or work. It leaves Sangyeon alone to enjoy his free day without classes – okay, he does some assignments, but otherwise he relaxes.

Sangyeon thinks he’s alone in the house, until at some point in the afternoon he can hear the distinct sound of a vacuum and someone rummaging down the hallway. He doesn’t give it much thought, nearly forgetting about it, if it wasn’t for someone knocking at his door not even five minutes later.

“Come in,” he says from his spot at the desk, turning towards the door. Slowly, it’s pushed open to reveal Jacob who carefully pokes his head in.

“Hey, _uhm_ , sorry for disrupting you,” he says with the gentlest voice as he comes in completely. Like this, Sangyeon can see how worried he looks, brows furrowed, and lips bitten, fingers plucking at the skin around his nails.

“I’m done anyway,” he quickly assures before closing the book in front of him and standing up to walk closer to the other. His heart hurts seeing Jacob so obviously worried and all Sangyeon wants is to reach out and take his hand. He refrains from the urge. “What’s up, Jakie?”

What Sangyeon is too scared for, Jacob does easily, gently grabbing the other’s hand and intertwining their fingers. “I’m worried about Keb… can I show you something?”

Sangyeon is glad that his worry for his friend is a far bigger force than the sudden flustered rush surging through his body at having Jacob take his hand. At least he doesn’t blip like this. He simply nods and lets himself be pulled along into the hallway and towards Jacob’s and Kevin’s room.

“Where is Kevin?” He asks, scared that something might have happened to him.

“He’s checking out a new gallery space with Hyunjoon, an old factory, I think. It’s a pretty big deal.” Despite how proud Sangyeon knows Jacob is of Kevin, his eyes stay looking forward stoically, the grip on his hand only tightening, almost painful. As if Jacob has to hold on to Sangyeon to stay afloat.

Sangyeon’s heart hurts a lot and it thumps heavily in his chest. He’s sure Jacob must feel it through his skin, but if he does, he thankfully doesn’t comment on it.

They reach Jacob and Kevin’s room, the door still open, and it explains the noise from earlier. The vacuum is still leant against the wall, clothes picked off the floor and thrown onto the bed instead. Jacob must’ve been in a good mood if he had the power to clean after his midday class.

He pulls Sangyeon inside and towards Kevin’s desk, before turning around to the other, not yet dropping his hand. They’re standing close enough for Sangyeon to be able to count Jacob’s long lashes if he wanted to, to see every speck of gold in his irises. His throat feels tight.

Jacob is looking at him with an intent gaze that makes Sangyeon feel completely breathless. He wants to break eye-contact, feels much too intimate like this with someone who’s taken. But it holds him captive for a few long moments, until Jacob finally looks away.

“I didn’t snoop around in his things, I swear. I was just cleaning and hit the desk with the vacuum, and it slipped out from behind.” Jacob’s voice is completely broken, guilt evident on his features. He drops Sangyeon’s hand and the older doesn’t even feel the loss, just wants to do whatever he can to make Jacob feel better.

Turning around, Jacob pulls a big piece of cardboard from behind the desk that’s half fallen out. He turns it around to show Sangyeon the front. It’s a gorgeous collage of cut up articles, mixed with pictures Kevin took himself, postal stamps, all kinds of things Sangyeon can’t even pick up with just one look.

“It’s… different from what he usually does, but it’s pretty,” he says quickly, looking back at Jacob who seems close to tears. “What’s the problem, Jacob?”

“It’s dated,” the other says, like that explains it all. “He did it just a few days ago, but I was with him that day and he didn’t work on anything. He must’ve done it at night while I was asleep.”

Sangyeon furrows his brows, confused. The conversation with Kevin from the morning a few days ago comes back to him in shambles. C _ould you maybe not tell Jacob about it_ , Kevin had asked him. It only confuses him more.

“I don’t think I understand why that’s a problem,” Sangyeon admits. “Do you have to be there to… help him, _uhh_ , keep it up? I don’t understand…”

Jacob gently places the piece of artwork done on Kevin’s desk, looking at it dreamily before replying. “Years ago, he asked me to give him a promise. That I have to look out for him when he draws… that I keep it in check, so he won’t force out more and more art by getting himself… you know.”

Sangyeon’s chest feels close to bursting, but he nods.

“When we got together, he… getting him to a place where he didn’t want to create every single time he was aroused took us nearly a year. He had this internalized hatred for everything sexual, even though he _wanted_ to enjoy it, he didn’t allow himself-“

“Jakie stop,” Sangyeon interrupts him. “This is something _he_ needs to tell me. Not you.” It comes out a tiny bit harsher than he intended it to, but when Jacob looks up from the desk his expression looks clearer.

“You’re right. I’m just so worried,” he says, tears collecting in his eyes. “I don’t want him to go back to being as unhappy as he was back then.”

It’s natural for Sangyeon to open his arms and pull Jacob into an embrace, natural to get hugged back even tighter. It’s not him that needs the comfort, but Jacob hums with his head over Sangyeon’s shoulder like you’d do to a frightened animal. Maybe he knows more than Sangyeon wants him too. Jacob has always been so beautifully yet painfully receptive.

“Okay, don’t be mad at me, but a few days ago I had a bad dream and got up very early,” Sangyeon begins to explain. He doesn’t want to throw Kevin under the bus, but since Jacob knows anyway, he’d rather be open. “He told me he had done some art and asked me not to tell you. I didn’t really think anything of it…”

Jacob breathes in deeply, and Sangyeon can feel something wet soak through his shirt. “Thank you for telling me,” Jacob says with a thick voice. “I’m so confused why he wouldn’t just tell me…”

“It will be okay,” Sangyeon assures and pulls him closer. “Just talk it out with him, yeah? And if you need a mediator or something, I’m always there for both of you.”

Nodding, Jacob pulls back, using the sleeves of his sweater to dry his eyes. “I think that would be good… and you know we’re also here for you. When Kevin offered you to come sleep with us if the dreams get worse, he meant it. We’re always here for you.”

“We are,” a sudden voice says from the door and Sangyeon and Jacob simultaneously turn around and stare at Kevin in absolute disbelief. “And as much as I’m hurt you two talked about this without me in the first place, I’m thankful that ultimately you want to _include_ me in the talk.”

“Keb, how long have you-“ Jacob begins, only to stop himself in the midst of his sentence. “I’m sorry for not waiting until you’re back.” He pushes past Sangyeon to get to Kevin, which… hurts a little… maybe a lot if Sangyeon would be honest with himself.

He turns away when they kiss, not too willing to disappear in a situation like this, but they seem to keep it short, calling his name to get his attention.

“Would you be up to mediate now?” Kevin asks with a gentle smile that makes Sangyeon’s heart rush. “We can order pizza and talk over that before anyone else gets home.”

Sangyeon is the first to dash out of the room to order it for them, feeling the beginnings of a blush burn on his cheeks which means he could very well blip any second. Jacob seemed a lot too knowing already, Sangyeon doesn’t need to give them even more clues about his unfortunate feelings.

Not even half an hour later, they end up at the dining table with delicious cheesy sins in front of them.

“You two talk,” Sangyeon says before digging in. “I’ll be here the whole time with my best friend Mr. Pizza.”

Kevin fondly rolls his eyes at him but takes a slice for himself. “I think Jakie should start while I get acquainted with Mr. Pizza too…”

“You two are the worst,” Jacob sighs jokingly, clearly nervous in the way his voice seems to quiver slightly. “I just… _You_ were the one to ask me to help you keep it in check and now you’re hiding this from me. I’m not hurt or disappointed, I just don’t _understand_. You can always talk openly to me, you know that, so why didn’t you just _tell_ me?”

Okay, maybe pizza wasn’t the best idea.

Kevin drops his slice to his plate and swallows heavily, his face falling as he looks down at his food. “I don’t really know,” he begins, before quickly shaking his head. “That’s a lie, I _do_ know. I just… didn’t want to make you feel like I don’t need you anymore. I need you, Jacob. I always will.”

Sangyeon places the rest of his slice down too, the last bite tasting like cardboard in his mouth.

“But I know that,” Jacob says softly, grabbing Kevin’s hand over the table. “Why do you think I’d feel that way?”

Kevin’s throat bobs and then he’s looking at Sangyeon for help, pleading eyes as if he holds the answer to the question. But Sangyeon doesn’t know _anything_ , doesn’t understand. He breaks eye-contact first.

“It used to get better for a while,” Kevin explains then, looking at Jacob again. “I used to be able to enjoy sex _and_ enjoy making art respectively. All thanks to you. But recently I just… I felt like for every time we would do _something_ , I have to make up for it by drawing afterwards. Not directly after, but you know…”

“So it’s become more of a duty again?” Jacob asks carefully, with an unreadable expression.

Pained, Kevin nods. “I don’t want that, I want it to be fun, but all I can think of is the potential loss of a masterpiece and _god_ that sounds so conceited.”

“It doesn’t,” Jacob promises, gently running his thumb over the back of Kevin’s hand. “I just wish we would’ve talked about this sooner.” Kevin nods at him. “What can I do? How can we make it a happy thing again?”

“I don’t know,” Kevin says truthfully, finally taking up his slice and biting into it. “Maybe Sangyeon has an idea, but he blipped when I started talking about our sex life.”

Jacob looks to his side, surprised to find Sangyeon’s seat empty. Or well, not truly empty. “Oh shit, you should’ve said something if we made you uncomfortable,” he says quickly, reaching out awkwardly to where he thinks Sangyeon’s arm must be, to stroke over it.

“You didn’t,” Sangyeon says with a sigh. “I don’t disappear from being uncomfortable, remember?”

Jacob leans exaggeratedly over the other to grab himself a slice of pizza. “So we flustered you? Our mediator is that easy?” He jokes.

“Why am I even here,” Sangyeon groans, grabbing his own abandoned slice which immediately turns invisible. “You two figured things out without even needing me.”

“We _talked_ , we didn’t figure things out at all,” Kevin says with a smile he hopes is directed at Sangyeon’s invisible face. “What would you do? What do you think we could do?”

It’s a good thing that Sangyeon is already invisible, or else he knows his next words would very well do the trick.

“I don’t want to assume anything about your sex life but maybe…” _god_ , he can’t believe he’s actually going to say this out loud. “Sex is kind of an art too, isn’t it? Like of course it can be quick and _uh_ just a means to an end but done right it can be intense and beautiful. Yeah, maybe that thought can help you out, Keb.”

He feels his cheeks burn despite being invisible, gobbles down another slice of pizza in a way to stop his dumb idiot mouth from saying such things to his best friends that are boyfriends and that he isn’t at all totally infatuated with.

Kevin blushes up to the tips of his ears and Jacob hides behind his slice of pizza.

“Y-you’re right, wow, okay, yeah…” Kevin stammers, quickly taking another slice of pizza and throwing the last one on Jacob’s plate. “Let’s eat now, before it’s completely cold.”

-

That night, Sangyeon has that same dream again, just that for the first time he can see himself but no one else can. He’s trapped on a busy street, walking endlessly but never getting any further and when he looks at himself in the reflection of a window to his side, faceless people are rushing right through him.

He tries to scream, to get someone to notice him, but no one does, and he ends up cowered on the ground, hands over his head as the street turns into a black abyss around him.

When he opens his eyes again in the dream, he’s outside of a giant industrial building that could be a converted factory for all he knows. A giant banner is hanging over the entry, with an indistinguishable artwork on it.

Down below, on the stairs, Kevin is standing next to Jacob, Hyunjoon in the back, Eric and Juyeon to the side too. Sangyeon’s parents are walking up the steps to the entry, seemingly congratulating Kevin with shakes of their hands.

The scenery changes again and Sangyeon knows that he’s inside the building now, even though it’s just a giant, white room with one picture hanging in mid-air. It’s of him, naked and with an expressionless face.

_Who is that_ , his mother asks, suddenly appearing in front of it next to Sangyeon’s father, Kevin and Jacob opposite of them.

_No one_ , Kevin replies with a polite smile. _This is no one_.

With a start, Sangyeon wakes up, the covers kicked off of him and his hair matted to his forehead.

It wasn’t a nightmare like those that made him cry and wake up screaming when he was small. Those with blood and murder or pure chaos that made his brain tumble. It was just a seemingly harmless dream. No violence, no confusion.

And yet his heart is racing like he just ran five miles without a pause, his breath coming in panicked little pants. _It’s okay_ , he tells himself. _You’re here. You’re real._

With trembling fingers, he grabs the glass of water from his nightstand that he recently made a habit of putting there before going to sleep. It cools him down somewhat, making his body feel more like that of a human’s and less like a furnace ready to light up any second.

Sangyeon’s heart won’t stop racing however and not even water can help with that. He looks at his phone screen for the time, three thirty in the morning, makes a note to himself to take it easy the next day.

As silently as he can, he makes his way to the bathroom, washing his face with cold water and going to the toilet in hopes to calm down. It doesn’t help at all, instead only makes him shake and feel cold to the bones.

When he exits the bathroom and wants to go back to his room, he can see light stream out from the slit under Eric’s door. Maybe he can… maybe he can knock and play something with the younger. Get his mind away from the fear of another dream once he falls asleep.

On soft soles, he walks over to it but before he can knock, he can hear Eric’s voice, animated and happy. He’s probably playing games with his friends, or maybe he’s even talking to Felix on the phone. Sangyeon knows Eric would never be angry at him for interrupting that, but he’s had his fair share of sadness in recent times, so the older shakes his head and turns to go back to his room.

His eyes fall on the door at the end of the hall. No light is streaming out from under it and he doubts neither Jacob nor Kevin are awake at this time. But they offered him to come to them if he ever needs it. They asked him repeatedly, so maybe… maybe it would be okay.

Lightly, he knocks against their door, tells himself that if they won’t reply after the first time he’ll go back to his room. But sure enough, there’s the sound of blankets shuffling and whispers and then someone calls out to him with a weirdly breathless voice.

“Y-yeah?” It’s Jacob and Sangyeon feels his heart hammer even more at the sound of it, the complete opposite of what it should do.

“It’s Sangyeon,” the other replies from the outside with a low voice. “Can I come in?”

“Of course,” Kevin allows and Sangyeon’s heart skips a beat. Careful to not make too much sound he opens the door and is surprised to be greeted with dim lighting coming from Kevin’s bedside table. Maybe their door closes off to the floor better than Eric’s.

Sangyeon really doesn’t have more time to think about that, because in the next second his eyes land on his friends and-

Oh no. Oh god. They’re both shirtless.

Kevin has the decency (or shame) to hide a good part of himself behind a blanket but Jacob is just laying there against the headboard completely open. His hair is messed up, sticking up everywhere as if Kevin took extra care to make it that messy.

The worst part is that Jacob – good, gentle Jacob – doesn’t even _hide_ what they must’ve been doing right before Sangyeon came up. His chest is littered in tiny red marks – probably thanks to Kevin, Sangyeon would assume – and his sleeping pants are barely pulled higher than his hips, revealing sharp bones and a soft trail of curls leading into the top of trimmed pubic hair that’s then _finally_ covered up by the fabric. 

Sangyeon has to force himself to look away.

“I-I interrupted you,” he says and blushes, a secret only to Sangyeon because he disappears before either of his friends can see. His heart is thumping heavily in his chest but it’s different now… not quick and frantic from panic, but deep and aching, sending blood anywhere but his brain.

“It’s okay,” Jacob assures quickly, finally seeming to realise his position and quickly covering himself with his arms. “We just- we’re-“ He stammers, looking at his boyfriend for help.

“Come join us?” Kevin interrupts him, making grabby hands towards Sangyeon as if it’s the most natural, the easiest thing even in a situation like this.

Sangyeon should turn around. He really should just walk out of that door and go back to his room and maybe watch movies or jerk off or something. But instead, he does the complete opposite and _closes_ the door. Walks over to the bed and reaches one invisible hand out to grab Kevin’s outstretched one, showing him that he’s there.

“I’m not interfering with anything?” He asks, making Kevin grin sheepishly.

“You are, but we told you we are here for you,” he explains. “We can continue that whenever we want.”

He then pats the space next to him, in the middle of the bed and Sangyeon nearly chokes on his spit when Jacob shuffles over to the edge, making space for him in between them.

A tiny bit awkwardly, Sangyeon climbs over Kevin and settles down there, lets a pillow be pushed against the headboard and a blanket fall over him. He lays with his back to Kevin, knows it must be weird because the other has to feel around to find him, to melt against his back in a spooning position.

Jacob follows but stays with his face turned towards Sangyeon, looking through him at Kevin but for the oldest it feels like he’s looking right through his soul.

“I had a bad dream,” Sangyeon explains uselessly. He knows it’s not necessary, but he wants to give them an explanation either way.

“Try and sleep here, okay? We will be right next to you the whole night.” Jacob’s voice is low and gentle and Sangyeon feels exhaustion weigh down heavily on his body.

“Thank you,” he says sleepily. “I love you. Both of you.” They don’t have to know that he doesn’t just mean it as friends.

“We love you too,” Kevin says from behind him and flicks the light off before wrapping his arm tight around the other’s middle, his hand coming to rest against Jacob’s hip over Sangyeon.

Sangyeon makes himself as small as he can between the two, feeling tiredness pull at his eyelids. The last thing he does before drifting off is pulling Kevin’s arm tighter around him and moving forward to press a gentle kiss to Jacob’s lips.

Kevin and Jacob smile fondly, but Sangyeon barely notices as they cuddle him even closer, a comfortable sleep taking him under.

-

At five in the morning, Eric still hasn’t gotten an ounce of sleep. He was busy talking to Felix the whole night, playing games with him at first and then once their fingers got too tired, just talking for hours and hours over Discord.

Their talking has died down now, but they’re still in that same liminal space of the voice chat, still present as if they were right next to each other.

“ _The sun will go up soon_ ,” Felix says with a rough voice, the first to break the silence after a long time. “ _I haven’t watched the sunrise with someone else in a long time_.”

Eric stifles a yawn, smiling into his fist afterwards. “Maybe we can do that sometime… if you want to.”

He can hear Felix laugh softly over the call. “ _The first bus I can take runs in half an hour_ …”

“Let’s meet at the bus stop, okay?”

Exhaustion shows itself in the stiff nature of Eric’s body when he stands up and puts on a thick hoodie to combat the coldness of sleep sitting heavy on his skin. It feels almost taboo to go out at this time, like he has to keep it a secret.

Careful to not wake anyone, he closes his door and rushes to the bathroom to make himself at least a tiny bit more presentable. There are bags under his eyes and his lips are dry but weirdly so, in the mirror at nearly five thirty, he looks more alive than he did in a long time.

Felix does this to him. He easily makes Eric feel thrumming with an excitement for life that he doubts anyone else made him ever feel. Now that he knows Felix’ power, now that Felix’ knows his after a long talk they shared, it feels like there’s nothing left between them. They can just exist openly.

It feels good.

When he finally steps out into the chilly morning air, Eric is delighted to see a completely clear sky. He knew it must’ve been, since he was on call with Felix all night and the other didn’t disappear once, but it still calms Eric down to know that even in the hour left of night, Felix won’t have to fear transforming.

There are few people out at this time, just some joggers and those who are stalking home after a drunken night. A few cars of people having to go to work early.

Time feels strange in moments like this, as if Eric’s existence is put on hold while around him things pass through a slow, yet steady flow. The air is piercing in his lungs, the distant sound of the city all around Eric, but he feels solitude of the best kind.

When he sits down at the bust stop, he might as well have stepped right into the story of a melancholic movie. Everything is tinted blue, there’s no background music, just the occasional zoom of a car going by, a dog barking somewhere in the park not too far away.

The scene changes when the bus drives up and suddenly Eric isn’t trapped in a movie anymore. With Felix stepping out of the bus in a fluffy jacket and Adidas sweatpants he’s catapulted right back into his own reality. Into real-time.

“You look… _wow_ ,” he exclaims instead of a greeting, and Felix breaks out into a panicked grin that he quickly covers up with his hand.

“It’s just… I just… I was lazy, okay? Wanted some chill clothes…”

Eric reaches forward to pull Felix’ hand away from his face, taking it in his. “I mean it though. Seeing you made my heart go kind of crazy right now.”

The bus drives off and reminds them of their surroundings, making Felix blush and look down. “That’s probably the lack of sleep,” he mumbles and it’s only due to the eery morning silence that Eric catches it.

Carefully, he tilts Felix’ head up with a finger under his chin. It’s strangely intimate when their eyes meet, making Eric’s heart skip a beat and forget about what he wanted to say for a few seconds. “No, it’s _you_. You mess with my head.”

Felix grins proudly, breaking off the heavy eye-contact between them. “Not my intention but I’ll take it if it gets me what I want…”

“What do you want?” Eric asks, cocking his head.

Pondering over it for a few seconds, Felix scrunches up his nose cutely. “Maybe a kiss first, then I want to watch the sunrise while holding hands with you and maybe we can even grab some breakfast after that.”

“Sounds like a plan,” comes the reply, quick and easy because that’s how Felix makes Eric feel. Like he can do things that scare him so much easier, without a problem.

He swoops forward and lands a soft peck on Felix’ lips, ready to pull back when the other clenches his fists into Eric’s hoodie and keeps him in place, kissing him just a little longer, a little more.

Maybe the have to jog to make it to the little hill in the park on time for sunrise, but they kiss even more there, and afterwards when they grab coffee and breakfast they don’t let go of each other’s hand once.

Eric can’t quite stop smiling, even with heavy lids and tired muscles. He wants to stay awake forever if it only means he can spend more time with Felix.

-

Sangyeon wakes up when bright light filters through the room. He stretches out his limbs, knocks into Kevin who only curls tighter around him. When he sleepily blinks his eyes open it’s to Jacob’s soft face, to his eyes squinting open and looking right back at him.

Oh right, he crawled into their bed after that dream he had the night before. Sangyeon remembers interrupting them, remembers disappearing but still being invited into the warmth of the bed. He thinks further and remembers pulling Kevin closer, settling in and-

He remembers kissing Jacob.

Sangyeon shoots up into a sitting position. _He kissed Jacob_.

Trying to take apart his brain for tired memories, he’s left with a horrible realization that _that_ wasn’t just a dream. That he really bent over without thinking and accidentally kissed one of his best friends square on the mouth.

He was blipped out and tired and _kissed Jacob_. Right next to Sangyeon’s _other_ crush, who just so happens to be Jacob’s boyfriend. The Jacob Sangyeon kissed. Whose boyfriend is Kevin. Who was cuddled up against him. Sangyeon _kissed_ -

He blips.

Sangyeon feels completely panicked, a good amount of shame and guilt sitting in his chest, but apparently his body decides to make things _worse_ for him by making him flustered at the memory of his lips against Jacob’s. He should be ashamed and not _blushing_ about that, for heaven’s sake.

After a few long moments of dread Sangyeon realizes that maybe this is the single best moment his power could’ve come out. If he’s lucky Kevin is still fast asleep and won’t even notice him leaving. And maybe Jacob will be gracious enough to let him go unnoticed too. Hell, he probably wants Sangyeon to leave as soon as possible.

Carefully, he pushes the covers down and makes to climb over Kevin when a hand on his wrist stops him.

“Where are you going, ‘yeon?” Kevin asks with a groggy voice, sounding almost… sad? No, that can’t be.

The older turns around to find him looking vaguely into the direction of Sangyeon’s invisible self. Kevin’s hair is falling into his face and all he wants to do is bend forward and card his fingers through it and gently push it back. _No, bad thoughts_.

“I thought, _uh_ … Do you not want me to go?” Sangyeon’s voice turns high towards the end of the sentence and he’s glad Kevin can’t see how he cringes at himself.

Another hand pats down over the mattress until it connects with Sangyeon’s other arm, wrapping around it just as tightly as Kevin is holding his other. Jacob has sat up a bit more, the blanket having slipped down and revealing his shirtless chest.

Sangyeon wonders if he’d mess up the covers if he had a nosebleed while being invisible.

“Come back here,” Jacob says, and his voice is more awake than Kevin’s. He sounds completely sure of what he’s saying. “Don’t run away from us.”

Furrowing his brows at the possible meaning of Jacob’s words, Sangyeon allows them to pull him back into the space between them. When they pull their hands back, he makes sure to grab them tight, hold them close. Confusion seems to be pulling him under and Kevin and Jacob are the only thing keeping him above the emotional waters.

“You keep running from us,” Kevin adds after a little bit, his body slowly mending against Sangyeon’s invisible one. “We’re right here but you keep wanting to get away.”

Sangyeon gulps. He’s really that obvious to them, huh?

That time when they tried to start a more serious conversation in the kitchen Sangyeon was so relieved when Eric came and got him out of it by pure luck. And even when Jacob and Kevin weren’t physically there with him, he must admit that every thought about them, about his feelings for them, Sangyeon kept pushing away further and further.

Maybe it’s really time to stop running.

His father’s words come back to Sangyeon’s head. From over a decade before, when he told him about the tree that only blossoms once a year. _There’s a lesson somewhere in there. Maybe you’ll be able to learn from it more than I did._

Because as pretty as those trees must’ve been, they were vein in the short time they carried wonderful flowers. They were narcissistic even when they only stood as bare branches, telling Sangyeon’s father to just wait. Maybe even telling themselves the same.

Sangyeon thinks that perhaps it’s time to stop telling himself a similar thing. Clearly his crushes won’t just go away and clearly forcing them out of his mind didn’t help in making them any easier either. It’s time to stop waiting for flowers to sprout and instead take matters into his own hands.

He lays there for minutes with Kevin and Jacob by his side, and slowly gets back to himself, literally and figuratively. His body is visible again when he opens his eyes and more than anything, he feels that endless mess, that confusion slowly clear up. _Stop running_ , he tells himself.

“I kissed you,” Sangyeon says, looking over at Jacob with his messy hair and his earnest eyes. “I wasn’t thinking, but I _kissed_ you.”

Jacob gently untangles his and Sangyeon’s fingers and brings his hand up to rest over the other’s chest, feeling his heart thumb heavily under his skin. “It’s okay, Sangyeon,” he promises. “I would’ve stopped you if it wouldn’t have been okay.”

Gulping, Sangyeon turns to look at Kevin and then back at Jacob. Hope is blossoming in his chest. Painful and dangerous, but unlike ever before he lets it unfold.

“Yeah, you think I’d just let you kiss my boyfriend if it wasn’t okay?” Kevin adds after a few seconds, adding his hand over Jacob’s right across Sangyeon’s chest.

With a tight feeling finally leaving his throat, Sangyeon slowly lets his hand travel there too, blanketing his best friends’. “Why did you… Why didn’t you two stop me then?”

“Lovely, silly Sangyeon,” Kevin say with a fond smile. “You’re not the only one with an unfortunate crush on someone.”

A stuttering breath leaves the older. “H-how did you-“

“You’re not as secretive as you think,” Jacob replies before Sangyeon even finished the question. “We noticed it weeks ago and tried to get you to talk to us.”

Sangyeon nods, clearly needing a few moments to process that information. “So do you two have ever thought of something like this? Like a poly thing?” He asks, feeling slightly scared of the answer. Just because they both herd similar feelings – and what luck is that already – doesn’t mean they’re willing to change their already existing relationship for that.

“We did,” Kevin replies quickly, cocking his head. “With the right person and a lot of honesty and trust we are very open for that.”

“The right person, huh?” Sangyeon asks with an anxious laugh, turning his head to look at Kevin who’s suddenly so… close. “Ever found one like that?”

Jacob hums thoughtfully. “We hope so,” he says with a low voice. “He’s laying in bed with us right now, so that’s a good sign.”

Sangyeon curses, fingers trembling against Kevin’s. He can’t tear his eyes away from him. “So you’re really… you’d really do that?”

Moving closer, Kevin takes a shuddering breath, eyes flitting down and Sangyeon gasps in realization.

“If you’re up for it,” Kevin says, voice clearly breathless. Sangyeon’s eyes close and he nods in tiny movements, fingers tightening around Kevin’s and Jacob’s on his chest. He can feel his heartbeat even there.

They’re right about to touch, Sangyeon knows because he can feel the tightest bit of friction against his lips before a thought comes to the forefront of his mind and he pulls back with wide eyes. “I didn’t brush my teeth yet,” he says breathlessly.

Fondly rolling his eyes at him, Kevin pulls his hand free from under Sangyeon’s and uses it to hold him steady by the cheek. “Who the fuck cares?” He asks rhetorically and then finally brings their mouths together in a shy kiss.

Sangyeon can’t help but smile against Kevin, pulling him closer and keening when Jacob presses against him tighter. He feels like the brightest colours are exploding in his chest and he certainly could get used to the feeling.

He hopes Kevin and Jacob are feeling similarly, but when they touch him so delicately and kiss him with painfully gentle encouragement, he’s pretty sure he can feel it thrum right through them as well. Just as bright.

Later, when they’re showered and fall back into bed, Sangyeon and Jacob remind Kevin just how artful sex can be and they all learn that even when Sangyeon blips out while someone is inside of him, their cock stays visible.

They don’t leave the comfort of bed, the comfort of each other, for hours. It’s just them for a limited time. Just Sangyeon starting to loosen the limits he involuntarily set for himself.

Just Kevin not once feeling guilty for enjoying being close to someone, for truly taking his time with it and not caring if a masterpiece is lost.

Just Jacob, who can finally let go of the need to care for everyone around him. After he’s done with Sangyeon, he lets himself be pushed back against the pillows, allows Kevin to kiss him stupid and Sangyeon to suck even more beautiful marks into his skin.

They all bloom that day, but they won’t let go of it after a week. No, they’ll hold on for as long as they can.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, please tell me your favourite parts, dynamics, brain jumbles or really anything down below, it always makes my day to see!!


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